...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
