The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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