Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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