u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
