drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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