some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
They are going to name an STD after you.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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