why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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