first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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