Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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