No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He better not be in your backpack
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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