I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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