I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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