Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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