Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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