Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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