We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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