Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
