What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
