worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
