Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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