Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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