Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
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