You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
