Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
