Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
this is an emotional support booty call
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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