She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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