So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
