For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
