it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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