Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
