Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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