that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
