dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
