If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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