The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
