Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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