the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
