please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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