He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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