her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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