Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
