I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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