I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
