your parents love me but you hate me
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
