I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
