whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
