very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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