so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
