dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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