I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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