Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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