the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
