i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
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the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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