a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
