One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
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she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
try to milk me bitch
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