Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
