all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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