I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
