she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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