i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
