Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
