No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
