I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Pooping to opera.
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