the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
