This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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