She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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