We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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