Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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